Americas Adventure: How do you say I don’t speak Turkish in Turkish?

Phew! It has been a crazy week. I am absolutely exhausted, and would like to apologise in advance for this blogpost. I can already tell it will be grammatically incorrect and words will be made up. My poor dyslexic little head cannot cope with a hangover, 2 hours sleep, emotional turmoil, and a severe lack of nice butter and crumpets. Really miss crumpets. And ginger biscuits for some reason. (These 80 words have taken me an hour to write)

Because I am simple and my brain is made out of cabbage (firstly spelt made m a i d – going well) I am going to divide this blog into three definite sections. Firstly, I shall tell you the tale of my wicked new apartment, secondly I shall discuss my first week of lectures and campus life and thirdly I shall list some questions and observations that are still baffling me regarding the way of life over here.

100^th Anniversary Houses (Literal Translation of 100.YIL - the area I live in.)

I have moved out of my horrific box room! And now have a home! I have keys and everything (that I thought I had lost on the third night - going well) Yes! I have a home, with a bed, and a door, and an oven (I think, I don’t know if its an oven or a microwave) a George foreman that I have already drunkenly made toast on (with assistance) and a real living house mate. I am living with a guy called Mathias – who is awesome (if you’re reading Mathias – merhaba and make me a cup of tea.) Mathias is half greek half Turkish and has lived in London for a lot of his life. He has a union jack iphone case and he approves of my jar of marmite that I smuggled into the country with me. Talking of the Marmite I have just had a flashback of drunkenly forcing the other international students to try Marmite. Many were not impressed, and I think someone was actually sick (nothing to do with the amount of liquor consumed) So yes. I am very happy here. I still haven’t unpacked but that it a minor issue. It was exciting to go to the Turkish B and Q with my host student/personal jesus Sonat. We did look like a married couple arguing about which bulb I needed for my lamp – but we finally plucked up the courage to ask and now I am sat in my cute little room with my little pink lamp. I also bought a mirror and a bin and I felt old. I also bought some spoons but I have no idea where I put them. They are probably in the same place as my keys I have lost. Also – I have a very comfortable sofa in my room, an armchair and also a huge sofa in my living room – so please feel free to visit whenever you like. Seriously though, someone please come and visit me? Homesickness is a bitch.

I certainly have not made things easy for Mathias already however. I may or may not have accidently invited the entire Erasmus group (well over 60 people actually turned up – and squeezed into our place) round for pre-drinks before going to a club. Probably not my smartest move. But something very Evie-esque none the less. It was great fun trying to explain to the guy you have literally just moved in with that there may be.. maybe… perhaps 60 people coming over to get drunk in your house. Hope you don’t mind, sorry about that. However, it was a roaring success. Highlights included opening the front door to see a line of people stretching down the street waiting to come inside. The piles of shoes at the front door and meeting some new people. Highlights also included trying to get said number on a Dolmus after a heavy drinking session. From what I remember money was collected in someone’s hat and there was one very angry driver. Social Sec stirkes in Turkey this time, we must have fun – and it must be organised. Following our rather large pre-drinks we went to the Erasmus Grand Party – a clubnight for all the Erasmus students that are in in Ankara at the moment. I had a great time, I don’t really remember details but I do know that I had a good time. On arriving home I also gave my friend Josh a lecture about Notorious BIG. To quote myself “He is the Shakespeare of our time, and he should have been made poet laureate. Not embarrassing in the slightest. Apparently after this I threw some bread on the floor and found it hilarious because he wanted some bread.

P.s, I can hear the call to prayer from my bedroom and it so beautiful. I wish I had been here for Ramadan.

Classes – Courses- ETCs – Who here does not speak Turkish?

I also started University this week. Believe it or not. Being back in education after 5 months is going to be tricky. I don’t really know how to type or think or write any more after a summer of writing “Gourmet Burger, Cracked Wheat, Relish, Extra Onions – no salad in bun” over and over again. I’m hoping my brain might be able to kick in soon – but it definitely needs some warming up. I had a debate about the end of capitalism the other day but got so confused that I had to give up. So far, I am taking the modules Beginners Turkish, Introduction to Peace and Conflict Studies, Intro to International Politics (shhhh don’t tell Leeds that I’ve already done this module about 78 times… shhhh) Middle East in World Affairs and I am debating whether to take Issues of Contemporary Aid or Contemporary Turkey. I think aid is going to be the winner – as although it is harder it is probably a lot more beneficial towards my final year back in Leeds next year. CHECK ME BEING ALL ACADEMIC. My building is so far away from my house, right on the other side of the huge campus. My trek to uni is atleast 20 minutes moderate to difficult and my legs and my bum are appreciating the exercise. If I stop being lazy and eating pizza constantly I am going to lose a lot of weight. (This is a big IF) I have also found a gym partner in the form of Farbia – an Iranian woman who is one of the nicest people I have ever met. We went for coffee the other day and stayed for a good three hours eating these delicious puffed balls filled with syrup – delicious. Did I mention they were delicious? They were delicious.

How do I get off the Dolmus?

I am starting to become less intimidated by every day life here, and this has been replaced with a sense of wonder. The things that I really appreciate are usually the smallest. From the hospitality of the Turkish people, to the dogs just chilling in campus. The Turkish people, generally speaking, are one of the nicest nationalities I have come across in my limited travel. Today – for example I have been apologised too for a lack of English spoken. In England it’s a matter of IF YOU CAN’T FUCKIN SPEAK THE FUKIN’ LANGUAGE THEN GO BACK TO WHERE YOU FUCKIN COME FROM type bullshit – but here the accommodation to, what can only be described as sheer ignorance at times is mind baffling. I really need to loose the embarrassment I feel trying to speak Turkish, because the level of appreciation over such simple words that you can say is amazing. However, I am still terrified to travel alone in the dolmus. The other day we were asked to crouch down whilst passing the police as there were so many people on board and it was illegal. But I think this is representative of how little the Turkish give a shit about rules. We’ll drive in the middle of the road, we’ll just stop and start reversing on the highway. We do what we want and we love Attaturk. And Raki. And free food.

There are still many things that baffle me; and here is a list of questions that I want answering.
1) Why is there an abondened tiny theme park right next to my house? And why is there a little girl carrying wood to it every day?

2) Why are there waterbottles tied to lampposts that are cut open, and full of waterbottle lids?

3) Bebek? Karpuz? Karpuz nerde?

4) Why was an old woman, a cashier and a random man trying to force me to buying toilet roll at the supermarket – I quite clearly didn’t want it – and I quite clearly did not understand what you were saying?

5) Why do buses and taxis beep when they go past you? Beep Beep Beep. Beep. Beep.

6) How, in the name of the holy spirit, do I ask the driver to stop so I can get off the dolmus?

7) Why are your lights white – and not yellow?

8) Why does your butter taste weird?

9) Do Turkish people have ovens? Or do they just microwave everything?

10) Where can I get really good Kunafe from?

Thank you and good night.
p.s – also - I am officially a resident of Turkey! Woohoo!
pps, it's 32 degrees here. Ha.