"With that many Kilos it may be dangerous"

1) Working at the Turkish Parliament is a hoot it seems. Especially when you have no idea what anyone is saying around you. Every week I have atleast one awkward run in with either security  or somebody famous (who I don't realize they're famous until afterwards.) Usually this occurs in a lift (or elevator to my international comrades) which intensifies the awkwardness. I am learning that laughing and trying to give my best puppy dog eyes usually acts as an alkaline to such experiences. "Ben Erasmus" doesn't seem to have such effect outside the gates of ODTU.

As I have mentioned previously, I chair the English Speaking Club at Parliament. This week we have been discussing the duties and the limitations of the Parliament. Now, Turkish people really struggle to pronounce the "th" sound. This is something I can relate to, as not only can I not pronounce absolutely anything in Turkish, but I too have struggled with the perils of "th" in my time.. memories of Year 4, in which I was made to stand in-front of the class for atleast 15 minutes until I correctly pronounced "Three"  - whilst my bible bashing tyrant of a teacher stood in-front of me spraying saliva into my 8 year old chubby face as he tried to "teach" me. Anyhow.. it is a tricky sound to make. Alors, today in our discussion we were reading about the "Oath Taking" of deputies.. or the "Oat Taking" of deputies...

"The plenary convenes at 3pm on the fifth day following the announcement of the final results of a parliamentary election on Turkish Radio and Television chanels...

In this sitting, first an oat-taking ceremony is conducted by each deputy. Deputies who are unable to attend the oat-taking ceremony shall take the oat at the beginning of the first sitting in which they participate. Deputies take the oat by reading out the text in the Constitution from the rostrum. "

Now, in my imagination all I could think of was a parliamentary system who were seriously concerned with their cereals. Oat-Tastic. DemOATcratic and not TOATalitarian. ElectOATral system. COATmissions. I could go on.. Anyhow, these thoughts and cereal-related puns led me to  have an  in-explainable and quite uncontrollable laughing fit in the middle of our session. High in fibre, but not in professionalism it seems. 

2) Bora - my Turkish.. son? brother? I'm not sure how to explain my relation to him, but anyhow...
Road safety is definitely not a concern in Turkey. Trying to cross the road in any circumstance needs a strong instinct, a poker face and a certain level of dexterity. Red lights are hardly ever obeyed... and pedestrian crossings are simply ignored. You need conviction and determination as a pedestrian, and you can basically do what the fuck you want as a driver. As a passenger is it best just to hold on tight and hope for the best. My turkish family always have a good belly laugh as soon as I get in the car and strap my seatbelt round me. Seem to think it's hilarious that I take my personal safety so seriously. (little did they know that the weight of a person is multiplied by 2O times in a high speed car crash.. if so I'll be the last one laughing... or not.)
Anyhow, Bora - whom is 8 years old and whom cannot speak any English (we have a fun relationship of teaching each other the names of animals in our languages) is often quite fascinated with what I do. He saw me put my seatbelt on and decided to do the same. However, he has never worn a seatbelt in his life. Thus, he took the drivers seat's belt - and plugged it into his socket. He looked confused as the belt just missed him completely, and then tried to slot himself in the gap. Still didn't work. He looked at me with anguish - and tried again - this time rotating his head at a very uncomfortable angle.. still it did not work. Eventually  - I showed him how he too could be as secure looking as I did - and put HIS seatbelt around him - and the rest of the journey he sat looking very very very smug with a huge grin on his face.

3) Watching The OC with a Syrian. Always. Particularly when they skip every scene that has Julie Cooper in it because they don't like her eyes... and especially when they ask "Why does Seth have to choose between Summer and Anna - he could have them both ... and two more?"

4) Having to pretend to be married to said Syrian whenever you go to the market, to avoid bum grabbing, overpricing and not accidentally buying 3 bananas for about 70TL.

Just a short update this time, mainly to discuss the political nature of oats. Tune in next time to hear all about Mama Stannards visit to the land of karpuz bebeks

Meanwhile, in Britain:

http://www.romfordrecorder.co.uk/news/house_fire_started_by_a_squirrel_disrupts_funeral_procession_through_romford_1_1984461

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-21858305

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-21923218

görüşürüz bebekler.